Tuesday, April 6, 2010

My journey with the weight on my shoulders...

I really didn't care about what I ate or how much I exercised when I was younger.

 I could eat whatever I wanted and not really worry about gaining any lbs. I could go out with my friends and order a burger and fries and not think twice about it.

My mom and I belonged to LA Fitness and I would go every once in a while for fun. I would go with my mom when I was bored, to give me somethin' to do.

Sometimes I would go because "everyone else was doing it".

Most of the time, I would just go to gaze at the guys.

I never thought I was "fat", per se, but my thighs and butt were a little bigger than I'd like them to be.

Now, when I look back at the pictures from about 12 yrs old to 16 yrs old, I must have been crazy to not like my body.

So, little did I know that all of the junk food eating and not exercising would catch up with me.

In late 2006 I started eating a little more than usual. I had great friends, a great family, but I just felt I was missing something. So I ate and didn't work out.

It all really caught up with me fast. The next time I stepped on the scale, I had gained 45 lbs. My mom thought it was a little odd that it crept up on me so fast. So we went to an endocrinologist to get my thyroid checked out. My TSH levels were really high. Not good. So, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism.

This wasn't helping my weight gain AT ALL. It only made it worse.

So, a lot of stuff went on with my thyroid, and let's just say I didn't take care of it until July '09. We'll discuss this later.

So, I knew that I was overweight, but I just didn't have the motivation to do anything about it. I know how to lose weight, I know what to eat and what not to eat and I know how to work out right. I just didn't have that motivation.

In November '07, I had family pictures done with my stepmom, dad, stepsister, stepbrother, and brother. When we got the pictures back I saw myself and literally started crying. I couldn't believe I looked like that. I knew I had to do something about it.

So, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers. I went to the weekly meetings, counted points, exercised, and lost 10 lbs. I was off to a good start, but for some reason I just lost motivation.

So I cancelled my membership and gained the 10 lbs back. I hated taking pictures of myself and I hated people taking pictures of myself. I hated looking at myself. I was disgusted.

In the summer of '08, me and a friend decided we wanted to lose weight together. We started in early June. I worked out 5-6 days a week and I ate chicken, veggies and fruit 5 days a week. On Saturday's and sometimes Friday's, me and this friend would eat so much junk food. Apparently we thought it was ok to eat right throught the week, but then gorge ourselves on the weekend.

But, I was still losing weight. (for some odd reason that I'm still not sure of)

I lost 10 lbs in a month doing it that way. I went on a family vacation at the end of June to Florida and ate everything in site, and worked out once.

I gained about 3 lbs back and when I came back from Florida, I just couldn't mind the motivation to keep going. My friend and I didn't hang out as much, so that didn't help.

Fast forward to Nov '08. I was still miserable about the way I looked and I never wore form-fitting clothing.

In the beginning of Nov' 08, I met my boyfriend now, Tony. (the story of how we met and our first date is saved for another post)

Once I got to know him a little more, about a month in, I told him that I wasn't happy with myself and the way I felt and looked. Little did I know, he was an expert on ways to lose weight.

He told me that it's going to be hard, but it DOES work, and it's all worth it.

He told me how to eat, and what to do for exercise. On December 2, 2008, I started my weight loss journey and my journey to happiness.

I worked out 6 days a week doing circuit training. I did squats, lunges, bench press, sit ups on Monday's and Thursday's, and military press, dead lifts, bench press, lat pull downs, and one arm snatches on Tuesday's and Friday's. For Wednesday and Saturday I would do some cardio.

My diet was low carb. Really low carb. I ate 20 carbs a day. I ate chicken, veggies, low carb tortillas..things like that.

My goal was to lose 40 lbs, at first. I reached my goal on April 12, 2009. It took me a little over 4 months to lose 40 lbs!

Throughout this journey, Tony was by my side. He was so encouraging and supportive. He too had lost 40+ lbs doing the same thing, so he knew what I was dealing with.

When I was 30 lbs down, I finally loved myself, which led me to fall in love with Tony.

I never met a man so supportive and respectful and there for me. I just knew he was "the one" after 4 months of knowing him.

Throughout May - September I gained 10 lbs back. I just was not ready for the real world yet. I didn't have the tools I needed to be able to maintain this weight.

Finally, in September I started to lose the weight again. I had another goal though. I wanted to lose the 10 lbs I gained, plus another 5-10.

On February 14, 2010 Tony and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary.

We also celebrated that I was 51 lbs down since December 2, 2008. I lost 14 lbs since September '09. I was elated. Happy. Excited.

Joyful.

I had FINALLY gotten to my goal and I felt GOOD.

I also fell in love along the way. :)

Now, almost 2 months later, I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I'm not the 15 yr old girl who could eat whatever she wanted and not work out and have the weight creep up on me without knowing. I have kept this weight off for almost 2 months and it's staying off.

I love myself. I know how to maintain my weight.

BUT..

I have made a decision to lose 10-15 more lbs by July.

I made this decision just for my satisfaction. Not because I think I'm fat. I know I'm not. But because I want to be more toned. Tony thinks I look perfect the way I am, but again, he is going to support me.

I want to be a little more toned.

Don't think I don't love myself, or that I'm not happy.

I am. Heck, I've been back and forth with this decision because I love the way I look now, but I wanna be a little more toned up! :)

So, I will be doing a little blogging about that journey. I will be starting in mid-May. After the stress of school, so it will make it easier.

Plus, I'm going to North Carolina mountains for a family reunion in July.

:)

I've never been happier than right now in my life. I love myself, and I've also grown closer with God in this journey. Let's not forget Him.

Thanks for reading this. It was tough for me to write all of this and to get all of this info on me out there in the open.

I appreciate you taking the time. :)

So, on May 10, 2010, 2 days after my 21st birthday I go on another journey to lose 10 lbs! Maybe 15. But let's not get ahead of ourselves!


0 comments: